Reminiscence...

i'll be off till monday... i've gone thru one of my personal stuff during my younger years... it's quite amusing of what i was back then... the arts... some of the writings... the scribbles... it was in a white journal oldish notebook-like hard-covered pad...

here's some of what was scribbled...

remember me when i'm gone away
gone far away into silent land
when u can no more hold me by the hand
nor i half turn to go, yet turning to stay
remember me when no more, day by day
u tell me of our future that u planned
only remember me; u understand
it will be late to counsel then or pray
yet if u should forget me for a while
and afterwards remember, do not grieve
for if the darkness and corruption leave
a vestigate of the thoughts that once i had
better by far u should forget and smile
that u should remember and be sad...

i was quite young back then... i found this journal entry quite interesting... flash back lotsa memories as well as pain, anger, suicidal... i was quite young back then... it'd be more than a decade by now... how time flies...

here's some snippets of what was written among them... couldn't put the whole thing... some things are better left unsaid...

and i was dying inside to hold u...

u're so far away...

once upon a time this great alma mater was my domain where i discovered the true meaning of life. yet still...

i've passed in to the afterworld... to a place where lights can't intrude... i bear this curse trancending time... my pain denies me ur truth... dreaming to be free... yet damned to eternity...

well some of the writing doesn't make any sense at all... that's for me to know and for others to never find out...

free our mind from those sufferin stuff. it's not over when it's done. it's just the beginnin of our life. comparing each others' intelligent brain. ain't that stupid? don't they realize that we're still human. just to test our humanity? hell...

sorry to break anyones' feelin' but aint that just some ridiculous thing. we'll know that one day this bloody earth will be thronged with people like us. the chance of survivin' s small...

now it's your turn to break free and do what u've desired...

and among them remind me of something that i shouldn't remember...

BODY BLOOD
JOY PAIN
LIFE DEATH

i've been living in my own closed world... never did let anyone in... never shared... i like it that way... coz in the end... i will still be alone...